The word "quit" has such a negative connotation these days. From a young age, we're told "You don't quit" or "Just keep going, it will get better." We hear, "Winners never quit, quitters never win". But were we ever told that, sometimes, it's OK to move on?
This weekend, my little Bay wonder horse spit the bit at the barrel race. He did the exact same thing last year. He rocked on all summer like a little champ, and then when he really gets to running, he forgets how to turn around. I was so upset on Saturday because I know this horse is capable. Bailey, of course, was all sunshine and rainbows saying "Don't be mad, we'll keep working." (Gotta love him.) But I really had to take a step back and ask myself if it's worth it right now.
And the answer I came up with is no, it's not. I can't fix our issues in the practice pen because he doesn't make mistakes there. And he might not make a mistake when we enter. But how un-fun is it to send a horse down the alley and wonder if he'll turn the second barrel?
So, we agreed. Bay will go back to heading for the winter, and maybe next summer, we'll try him on the barrels again. Bailey thinks Bay is the best head horse we own, so letting him be a champion from the head box is just fine.
I tell you this story so I can use it as an example for my thoughts on when to keep pushing, when to reevaluate, and when to refocus. There are absolutely times when you want to give up but you are aaaalmost over the hill. Like, just one more push, and you'll have it made. Those are the times we shouldn't quit. We should take a deep breath and give it our all. Then there are times when we need to reevaluate. Maybe you're not ready to give up on the goal, but how you are approaching the situation needs to change. Perhaps you need a different coach or you need to step back from this area to focus on another that will help your overall approach.
And then there are times to refocus. Notice I didn't say "quit," because if I did, you would probably quit reading. I truly believe there is strength in knowing when enough is enough. Recognizing that your time, energy, effort, and heart could be better used somewhere else. There is bravery is saying, "This is no longer for me."
I don't, however, think that decision should be made in the heat of the moment or without counsel. When you find yourself thinking "I'm done" or "What now?", I would encourage you to do these three things.
1) Pray. Hard. Ask God for guidance and wisdom.
2) Seek wise counsel. Notice I didn't say, "Go ask your bestie." No, go ask someone who has been there, who knows what you're facing, who will give it to you straight.
3) Trust yourself. At the end of the day, this is your decision. You know you best.
I truly believe that if you earnestly seek God's will, wise counsel, and listen to yourself, you will make the right decision. Then, after you decide, set a timeline. Perhaps it's 30 days, maybe six months. But commit to not second-guessing yourself for that period of time. For me, I've decided that Bay can just be a rope horse until April. We'll see what happens after that. But in the meantime, I don't have to decide every day whether or not he gets saddled with my saddle or Bailey's.
I hope this helps, friend. I hope it reminds you that you don't have to hang on to a dream because someone else said so or because you wanted it last year. Dreams change, you change, things change. And that's OK.
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